Kurt Minson delivers customized engagement talks to audiences anywhere in the world.

Ever heard of comedian Steve Harvey’s bestseller Act Like a Lady, Think Like a Man? In his “That’s right, I said it” straightforward style, Steve dishes out revealing, humorous info on navigating relationships. Sadly, if he had written the book twenty years ago, many of us could have avoided a plethora of mistakes and don’t-do-what-I-just-did stories.

The bright side, happily, is that Steve’s savvy advice transcends personal relationships and fits easily into the world of engagement, emotional branding and behavioral economics (although they don’t sound nearly as sexy). Yeah, there’s more to it than just “Don’t give up the cookie.”

According to Mr. Harvey, if you really want someone (ie. your customers or clients and all the potential ones) to love you, simply follow these five steps:

1. Really get to know them.

Emotive marketing is not the manipulation of people’s emotions. It is understanding the needs and desires of your target audience and fulfilling them with your brand. Establishing this connection with your clients is vital.

2. Protect.

Can your clients rely on you to protect their interests? Remain consistent? Have their back?

Just when you thought you had it all down at home, now your customers are asking for the same reliability and protection?

Damn straight.

Can you deliver?

3. Profess.

Steve explains that a man shows he’s truly committed when he introduces his woman to his mama and his best friends, calling her his own, not just “my friend.”

Are you willing to put yourself out there for your clients? How real are you? This is vital, says neuromarketing blogger Roger Dooley (http://www.neurosciencemarketing.com/blog/articles/emotional-ads-work-best.htm), since “brands have damaged themselves when an emotional campaign failed to align with reality.”

Will you stand behind what you offer, stating it loudly and with certainty, and then backing it up?

If you say it, mean it.

4. Provide.

Once you know what your customer needs and have promised you can deliver, do it. Don’t be a deadbeat baby daddy.

We have all heard of the sweet business deals that promise the world and then fall woefully short. It goes back to what your parents taught you: don’t promise what you can’t give, and provide what you promise. When you do, the loves of your business life will be loyal to you until the day you retire.

5. Don’t give up the cookie (yeah, I came back to it).

Don’t give away your love – your time, your resources, your talents – to someone who might be a bad fit. Get to know potential clients. What is their company narrative? Goals? Character? Passions? Doe these align with your own?

Is there a potential for a deep, fulfilling relationship, or could it be more of a wham-bam thing? Before you get in too deep, do the research and don’t be swayed by a pair of pretty eyes and smooth words.


Everything we do in life is an emotional risk. In business, these risks are multiplied. Take the time to get to know the people you want to reach, then show them the love when it’s a good fit. Remember, your reputation is on the line.

Like your mom always said, “Make good choices.”